just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
