Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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