I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize