Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
