You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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