So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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