I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
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I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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