My friends, they love my intelligence
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
