$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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