she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
