Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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