To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She announced her abortion via fbk
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
