East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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