Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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