I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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