and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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