a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
ttyl tear gas
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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