so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
