so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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