He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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