Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize