frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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