I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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