matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
