Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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