I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize