Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I don't think brook has ever known best
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
