You smell like a Billy Joel song
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
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Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
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First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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