You just made me feel so damn special
Its about making memories worth repressing
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
be right there i have to get my cape
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
