My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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