You work out of a Hotel?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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