So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
