I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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