found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
