I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i out mim tonsoeep
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