Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
