Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
