I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
