2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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