i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
