There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
