so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
