two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
