i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
