What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
