STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so that wasnt chicken after all
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
