That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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