he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
