No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
17 year olds will be the death of me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
