Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
