So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
