he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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