peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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