His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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