Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
