my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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