is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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