the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
