I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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